How to Treat Negative Thoughts of Comparing to Past Relationships

Jealousy is very common especially when you are in a relationship; you tend to get jealous to just about anything with no valid reason at all. This actually happens when there is no assurance from the partner that everything’s going to be alright. When you love a person, jealousy is always present in the scene. But you can actually do something about it, if you just learn to accept that the past will always remain in the past and there’s no space for it in the future.

It is always the nature of anyone who is in the relationship to always think negatively especially when it is about the comparison between past relationships. Below are some of the ways on how you can manage to treat negative thoughts of comparing your past relationships, as highlighted in save my marriage e-course by Amy Waterman:

Be realistic. Don’t over imagine a thing that as if you are not the one whom you’re partner is with. Be confident about yourself that you are God’s gift and that is the reason why your partner chooses you among anyone else. Don’t let your insecurities eat you up alive because this will just do no good in your relationship.

Let the relationship grow naturally. Don’t think that something negative will happen in your relationship especially to the newly-wed couples out there that have fears that there partners might leave them all alone someday. Never force the relationship to be mature, look forward to the days ahead of you because in each day that passes by I’m sure there are a lot of moral lessons that you will be experiencing which will be really helpful in the relationship.

Never doubt. Trust is very important in a relationship. When you love a person, you should trust your partner with all your heart and don’t entertain anything that will make the relationship experience conflicts. Past relationships should not be given priority, if you can’t leave the past behind, then it is impossible for the relationship to be successful and to grow maturely. Frequents fights will be present, and no one would surely want that, right?

Get counseling. If you are being troubled by past relationships and you think that you are breaking apart because of this I guess it is time to contact a relationship counselor for you to be able to find out on how you can stop yourself from comparing yours to past relationships and start moving on. This should not be taken for granted because either make or break the relationship you have, if you can’t keep yourself from doing to this to your partner.

Make it an inspiration. Past relationships should be taken as your inspiration on how you will improve what you have, since your past relationships weren’t successful. If people will only realize that it is called past relationships because it didn’t work out, then there will be actually no problem about it. Talking about past relationships is actually not bad at all if you will only look at it at the positive aspect and not be negative about it.

Be kind to yourself. Surely, the ex may have something that you actually don’t, well this shouldn’t be a big problem at all because you won’t have a relationship with your partner right now, if it’s not you that your partner likes. Never underestimate yourself, and love yourself even more and your partner, of course.

 Negative thoughts about past relationships should not be taken seriously because it is not actually healthy to your relationship. Instead, make it just an ordinary thought and don’t give special intention about it. Be totally honest when discussing this to your partner so that this will not be brought up over and over again.



The Best Ways to Respond to Criticism and Attacks from Your Partner - Save My Marriage Today Book

Arguments will never do well in a relationship; in fact it will be no good when it is happening most of the time like a habit that can’t be stopped. There are also times when you just can’t take the harsh words that your partner has caused you when you are in a middle of an argument, right? It’s as if you wanted to do the same but you are just afraid that it will let the argument go to its worst part, so what you will do is to just accept those hurtful words your partner is throwing at you without even trying to fight back a bit to hurt the ego as well.

If you are experiencing this too often, I guess it’s time for you not to be an underdog anymore and be able to voice out what you really feel about the situation. Here are some ways on how to handle criticism and attacks from your partner:

Understand. Before you respond to anything, see to it that you know what the reason behind the criticism is and know what the misunderstanding is all about so that you know the right words to use when it is your time to speak back to your partner.

Don’t act too defensive. Being defensive means that you are actually admitting the accusation of your partner to you and it’s like you have given him the permission to insult you even more. You can actually take this as an opportunity to turn the tables down and let your partner get the shock of a lifetime by answering him in a way that he least expected to happen. Since, your partner may be very furious, act the opposite way by responding in a very polite manner, and let him have to think about it instead of attacking you even more.

Curve your lips to a beautiful smile. A simple smile can actually brighten the mood to the person you have given that into. And it will also give him the idea that what he has said doesn’t affect you after all and you are confident with yourself that you are on the right side.

Do self-assessment. Take a time to ask yourself and ponder unto the things that you were criticized for. Maybe your partner only said it because of the reason, you may already changed your attitude and it is just the way of your partner to let know that he or she does not approve of it. Your partner doesn’t just know how to express it well.

Tell your friends and family members about the situation. It is only proper that you tell your family about or close friends so that you will be getting the right amount of support that you will be needing because at times like this, only the people close to your heart will actually be your strength  to be able to survive this kind of trial in a relationship.

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Effective Strategies in Conflict Resolution

It is quite common for spouses to have a little conflict at times, especially in the decision-making process. It is actually the nature of man to argue, and we just can’t do anything about it but to argue too, right? What a life’s irony, really. But sometimes small arguments often lead to heated arguments then to a fight of a lifetime, wherein if not given proper attention to will lead to a not so good ending. And who would want that?

For you to be able to not reach the worst part of any arguments that you and your spouse will be encountering below are some strategies to be read on to:

·         Focus on the current issue. It is not healthy to open up about new other topics that you have been fighting that will only make the situation worse because all the more that you won’t be able to resolve the issue, when this happens.

·         Be on the same side. Do it in a way that both of you will be the ones responsible to solve the issue and not, by just “him alone, or, “her alone”. Work together as a couple, since the both of you are involved into this, so you really don’t have any choice about it.

·         Know the main issue. Small fights often grown into big ones when the root of the issue is not very well-explained to, thereby, as the argument arises the problem will only get bigger and bigger if this is not identified.

·         Be open with your thoughts. Don’t pretend as if you know how your spouse behaves, decides, and thinks. Directly ask questions that are bugging your mind, so you will get answers that will let you calm yourself down. Remember, that even though you are couples, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you know what’s going on in each other’s head at all times.

·         Be sure that you will settle your arguments before bedtime. Make sure that your arguments will be settled right before you sleep. Just act like two responsible adults, and never let your anger bring it down until morning, because this will be not be beneficial in your relationship. Just think of the happiness that you will get, when you wake up in the morning and the anger you had the other night is already replaced by love made in heaven.

·         Never attack your spouse below the belt. When arguments reaches to the point wherein you are not able to manage your anger anymore, never use words that would hurt your partner the most like attacking his personality because this is the common mistakes of people who are arguing and they really say hurtful words about the weak side of his partner which is not acceptable.

·         Never underestimate the power of love. On the record, love is the reason why both of you were united, right? So, make it a reminder to yourselves that you made vows on that very special day because of your deep love with each other and it will also be the same reason why you will forgive, forget, and admit your mistakes, and stay away to arguments.

How to Survive an Infidelity

Relationships often suffer from unfaithfulness, and this is a very common problem that most of the couples experience. Some may survive, others may give up. But did you ever think of this when it will happen to you in the future? Have you thought of the ways that you will do when you are in a situation like this? How will you react if you knew that you’re partner is into this? These are the most of the questions that you should be prepared or ready for, if you intended to survive an infidelity.

Below are some of the actions you may do in order to survive infidelity in a relationship:

Analyze the situation. Think that you are not just the person who has this problem, and there are billions of you out there. Go out; be with friends or relatives who are close to your heart so you will have the power to think clearly and the wisdom to not seek revenge because your partner has caused you very deep pain. Giving yourself the liberty to think things over won’t lead you to arguments that won’t actually make the situation even worse.

Talk to your partner. If you think that you are actually ready and calm enough to face your partner, then go to place wherein you can sit comfortable and talk like in parks or restaurants. Remember not to go to places that both have emotional attachment to the both of you, for things not to get rumbled up. Let him understand that your partners responsible for this, and you have the right to know why it happened, and also be tactful in asking if he still wanted to continue the relationship that you have.

Give time for yourself. Before you make any decisions, give time for yourself to think things over if you wanted to go on with the relationship or not. Forgiving the one you love is actually easy, but it is hard to erase the pain that you felt every time you remember it, right? If you have children it is recommended that you stay in the house while doing some soul-searching.

Seek a relationship counselor. The best time to seek a relationship counselor is when your anger has vanished and you’re ready to forgive your partner. It is required that you attend seminars with your chosen counselor as a couple so you will be able to understand every detail  of it together for a future harmonious relationship ahead of you.

Have a heart to heart talk with your partner. Make sure that you exactly know the right words to say when you do this, so that you when you are already face-to-face with your spouse you are able to explain to him what exactly you wanted to happen in your relationship.

Acceptance. It is hard to rebuild a trust that was once broken, sometimes other people may even find it hard to gain back that trust once again even though they still love their partner. But come to think of it, once you have forgiven your partner about his fault and you have decided to go on with your relationship, trust can be gained along the way once you are able to see that your partner is sincere enough and is really sorry for the wrong act that he has done.

Set dates. When you are on the stage of welcoming the relationship again, dates are very helpful in having that love and trust that was lost. Go to the movies, to your favorite restaurants or to places that were witnesses of your loving moments together.

What’s good about second chances is that, you are able to love your partner even more and discover the new you. Surviving an infidelity is a step to a loving and much stronger relationship with your partner too. Though it is actually hard at first, but you will gain important lessons at the end and a more romantic relationship ahead of you.

How to Manage Your Anger in Conflict Situations - Save My Marriage Today Book

Being angry is very common to a person who has been hurt by his or her loved ones, or when someone did something that is not appropriate that concerns the feelings or emotions of the person affected. There are a number of reasons why a person feels angry, some may handle it very well and just to themselves which is a positive attitude while others just can’t hide it through themselves and really confront the reason why he feels that way or just pass to it to something or someone else just to get that rid of that feeling.

In this Save Marriage Today, you will be able to find out what are the ways for you to be able to handle your anger in situations wherein you have to stay calm wherein you really should be. Go over this page below to find out how:

Breathe .Having to take a long, deep breathe whenever you feel angry really helps in soothing your nerves down and to not burst your bubble. Just close your eyes, and internalize and then take that very deep breath and count from to one to three and then release, then you’ll see that all your angriness have vanished and just remember happy thoughts for you not to be able to think of that thing or person that makes you real mad.

Think. To think meaning to think of thought that makes you happy. With this very simple act, just thinking of your most favorable thought either something that really makes you laugh out loud big time or something that makes your heart skip a bit will surely take all your angriness away.

Laugh. As the old saying goes, “laughter is the best medicine”. So whether you’re mad or sad, just have yourself a little laugh because it will take anything that you feel that

Keep calm. There’s no greater remedy than keeping your nerves relax by staying calm. There are a lot of ways on how to calm you most especially when conflict situations arise. You may try eating chocolates, go through a walk or shopping in that way you are keeping your cool without trying to offend somebody else.

Understand. By understanding the reason why you were angry, you will be able to pinpoint what’s the reason behind it. If you’re brave enough to face the reason of why did you feel that way, then good for you? But then, if it doesn’t work that way, you can confide to your trusted friends, family members, or even a professional on how you can manage your anger well without having to make it worse.

Say no to violence. Being violent doesn’t resolve any problems that go with anger. Just remain calm and don’t hurt anyone that you encounter just because you are mad. Engaging in stuffs like this doesn’t change what has been done already.

Count t0 10. Yes, this is very old school but it still effectively and nothing beats the advices from our parents that we have grown with. By doing this act, you are giving yourself time to think clearly and seconds after, you will be able to find out that you are actually okay.

Learn how to forgive. Forgiveness actually takes time, but then if you really care for the person you are mad with. This just goes naturally. There are actually no special words and actions needed if you are ready to forgive. And that is what loving is all about right, accepting the imperfections of your love ones, no matter how they get into your nerves sometimes.

How to Improve the Way Your Spouse Treats You - Save My Marriage Today Amy Waterman

When you are in a relationship it is important that both partners should treat each other well with all the love in the world, for you and your partner to have a smooth sailing relationship like never before (as discussed in Save Marriage Today Review. To have a better-half is always a give and take relationship and not just a one-sided one; after all you are called a spouse for no reason at all.

But as we all know, all relationships, especially when you entered the sacrament of the Holy Matrimony and you are called husband and wife already, there will come a point where in the spouse will get fed-up with each other, and find someone new, which is the worst case scenario, right? And for marriages not to reach this point below are some of the tips on how to improve the way your spouse treats you:

 Treat each other as partners as you always have been. Just remember the very first day that you had been married and the months after that, one cannot function without the other, right?

Be soft with words. No matter how sorry you are for the wrong words that you said which you actually didn’t mean to say in front of your spouse because of a not so big reason at all, still you have hurt the feelings of your spouse and it left a scar in her heart already. So it is important that you are very careful with the words that got out of your mouth whenever you have that little misunderstanding. But jf you really cannot control your emotions just wait until you calm down already before you continue to settle the problem.

Be affectionate. No matter how long your married life is, it is always very important not to take being kind, gentle, and loving for granted. These are the three main ingredients that serve as a foundation to any lasting relationship there is.

Always be a friend. It is important that you have that solid foundation of being friends, most especially when you are married for a long time already because any conflict will be solved for as long as you have good relationship with your spouse.

Learn to appreciate your partner at all times. Appreciate even the smallest thing that your husband or wife has accomplished. May it be the tasty dinner, or the effort to wake him up in an early meeting and cook breakfast most especially, because once your spouse feels that every little thing he or she does means a lot to you then he will be more than willing to do the same for you and makes the relationship stronger through the test of time.

Don’t bring issues of the past. This is one of the common mistakes that any relationship has, and that is bringing up the ghosts of the past even though the problem had been resolved already. For the relationship to grow, you have to let go of everything in your past that will only destroy the relationship, and most especially it is not very healthy at all.

Accept your mistakes. Being humble most of the time is really important especially if you are at fault with your spouse. Don’t let any misunderstandings reach until the morning, if possible settle your issues before you go to bed , for you to both welcome the morning with sweet smile on your faces.

These are just some of the tips that you may try on how to improve your married life. You can always do some experiments that would sizzle up more and leave you two lovebirds cuddling up morning till dawn!

Here Are Things To Do When You Have Cheated On Your Partner - Save My Marriage Today

You committed infidelity to your partner, and you’ve realized that it is still your partner is the reason why you are living in this world. It is actually not easy to bring back the trust and love that was lost, so you need to exert a large amount of extra effort to be able to bring back the days that you use to be when you and your partner is helplessly madly in love with each  other.

You have to prove that you won’t do the same mistake again and to be able to do this, really require a lot of sacrifice to the spouse at fault. Some may reach for approximately 4 months to even a year for the partner to be able to accept the relationship again but if you’re going to think this over. So to be able to make things easier and extra sweet you need to follow this steps on how to make up for the lost times wherein you hurt your partner’s feelings:

End the communication. This is the first step of it all, by the means of ending any communication to the person that you whom have relations with, it means that you don’t have any more plans of getting back when you get tempted again. And this step also reassures your partner that you are really sincere with your intention of winning back your partner’s love, trust, and acceptance.

Give enough space and time. Give yourself time to be away for awhile, for you to be able to find yourself again and reflect on the things that you did that you know was wrong and will you make amends for that fault you commit. With this you will be able to think clearly and face your space with sincerity that you are serious with your intentions of getting back to her despite of what happened.

Be honest as you can be. For your partner to trust you again, you just have to answer all questions that she asks you about the issue. Just be honest as possible no matter how sensitive the topic is because that is why your spouse asks questions, because of the willingness to accept you again but at the same time she also has doubts that you might do it again. Remember, honesty is still the best policy in whenever conditions it may apply.

Building blocks of trust. Once you and your partner talked calmly already and have shared your thoughts about the issue, then it’s time for you to start gaining back the trust of your spouse. Let her feel that he or she is the only one that matters to you, and that includes communicating with her every now and  then, telling where you are that time, who’s with you. Surprises also helps in a big way, because this is actually the do or die phase wherein, what matters is the person you want to be with. And also, try asking her of what she wants you to do just to prove that you have really changed for the good.

The power of relationship counseling. Yes, this is a big help when you wanted to rekindle the love that was lost with your partner. Counseling gives you the chance to rediscover yourselves again, and let you see that you are really bound to be in each other’s arms and not in the arms of someone else. For this to be successful, it should be attended both by the concerned parties, and not just by one person.