Friday, December 2, 2011

Secrets of Loving and Fulfilling Relationship

It takes both the effort of the couple to have a loving and fulfilling relationship, and there’s no love potion for you to be able to do this, only unconditional love is actually the main reason behind all this. If you really love your partner without looking for something in return and with all your heart then for sure, you will have a loving and fulfilling relationship. Just to keep the love and passion alive with your partner, below are some simple steps you may consider:
Never lose communication. Some relationships that are for quite some time already tend to lose the art of communicating which is actually not healthy. Active communication is one of the ingredients to have a happy and long-lasting relationship. Problems won’t be solved if you don’t communicate with your partner well. And it is not just communicating at all; you should learn to communicate kindly especially when you are facing difficulty in your relationship for the both of you to work it out well.
Enjoy every moment of it. When you are in a relationship, don’t think of until your relationship with your partner last. This is the common mistake most people think of, and that is expecting negative things. If you will be looking forward to what will happen next, then why don’t you just think of happy and exciting expectations in the future. In this way, you will be looking forward to each and every moments of your lives without the fear of losing your partner along the way.
Love the arguments. Don’t take all of your arguments seriously. To argue is actually healthy because you let go of all your frustrations in the relationship. if you are just keeping it to yourself, then the relationship is actually going nowhere. What’s sweet about heated arguments is that after you have hurt each other’s feelings, the next thing you will do automatically is to make up with your partner and you’ll just be surprised to what will your partner do about it. See, who says arguing, is absolutely not healthy at all, just don’t do it most of the time because it’s a different story already.
Always make your partner a priority. Though it has always been a busy day for the both of you, don’t let each other feel that you don’t actually care because of the reason that you are both tired. Always let your partner know that no matter what the situation you are both in, your husband or your wife is the only person that gives meaning to your life and with that you have to make her feel and do some things that will let your spouse feel that way.
Go out. Being married doesn’t mean that you are not allowed to go on dates anymore with your spouse anymore, that you are only both confined to the comfort of your homes. Being together alone away from home only make the relationship exciting even more most especially if you don’t really plan it well. If you are worried about the expenses, then dates need not be expensive for as long as you two are together and enjoying of course. No matter where you go still, the thing that matters the most is the time that you spend together and the presence of one another.
Words of love. Always find time to appreciate your spouse especially in times, when your partner doesn’t feel beautiful. These are the moments when what they actually needed are the comforting words of your heart. I mean you are married right, and he or she may feel insecure of the young ones and may feel unattractive anymore. So whenever, these moment arises, go spill out your power words, and surely you will be looking forward to a great life ahead of your married life.



Wednesday, November 30, 2011

What To Do When Your Partner Withdraws - Save My Marriage Today

Take care of yourself. When your partner have decided to let go of the relationship, don’t make your life miserable but instead go improve yourself even more for your partner to be able to see that you can actually live a happy and fulfilling life without his or her company. Have a clear mind set over the things that you wanted to do and not to do, and follow them. Remember that life is always beautiful, and don’t take this for granted just because some unimportant person leaves you.
Choose the most appropriate time to talk. To discuss with your partner about the issue is really important since it concerns both of your feelings but there is a proper time for this and that is the time wherein all your heads are clear from angriness and is ready for some serious talking. Let your partner realize that you will be actually experience that any of you will get mad and just walk away from the relationship like that easy. An angry person can do just about anything when angry and with a great understanding and patience is needed in times like these.
Set limits. Approach your partner that you won’t be attending any occasion together, especially family activities like going to parties, or dinners if he or she still behaves that way and if you have plans on going, than you’ll just be going alone. Let your partner feel that the situation is doing no good to your relationship and it should be stopped as soon as possible before things get to its worst part. Don’t pursue your partner to do this all over again, and let her or him feel that it has no effect to you at all and that you can manage to go on with your daily plans even though he or she is behaving that way.
Make the first move. It is quite impossible for a partner who has withdrawn to initiate things on reconciliation. When the time you set passes by and he or she still didn’t make a move, then it is time for you to do it your way and stop waiting vainly for nothing. Set up something romantic wherein you will just sit there and talk over the matter without any hassle of putting him into the hot seat. Just make a casual talk of what is the reason behind why he or she acted that way. Let your partner feel that you understand the situation and very well, and your there to make amends. By showing deep concern and sincerity makes you get the love back from your withdrawn partner.
Show your affection. Sometimes, actions are a lot better than words especially when you have problems with your partner. Don’t be afraid to let him or her shows how much you love, care, and value the relationship so must. In that way, your partner will be able to realize how lucky he or she is to have you and everything will just fall into places where it should be.
In situations like this, a great understanding is important when your partner behaves this way. You should also have the right attitude to be sensible and mature since you are the one who has full control over the situation. Find out what’s the root cause of his behavior so that you will know what type of approach to make. Never take the power of love for granted, let the love you feel fix the problem because there is no bigger cure for this but an ounce of pure love to a blissful relationship.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

What To Do When Your Partner is Behaving Irrationally

Relationships are actually never perfect, you can never have a perfect relationship if you are exerting too much pressure in it and even though we know that once we enter a relationship our lives will never be the same again because of the different feelings that we will be experiencing throughout. These feelings include happiness, sadness, jealousy, and of course being unreasonable at times. Men and women always have this trait of unknown reason. And when we encounter irrational people we tend to lose our cool and act the way these people do which is actually wrong. So in order to maintain balance when someone acts this way, below are the tips to follow when your partner is behaving irrationally:
Fight the urge to fight back. It is not always useless to fight back to irrational people because they actually don’t have the sense of logic when they are in that state, they are all very good at arguing that on that way, so there’s actually no point to argue with them because it will just be a senseless mad talk and will not yield good results if that’s what you wanted to have.
Keep your cool. When your partner is being irrational and before it starts to get into your nerves, analyze the situation first that your partner is not on his or her proper state of mind and there’s no use of arguing. The proper thing to do is to just listen to everything she talks about even though he or she is vigorously mad speaking to you, and when he or she is done with the talking, ask her calmly what was the reason why he or she behaves that way so that you will be able to fix problems if there is any. If he or she did not take it positively, just continue to explain that you are very much willing to help up to no extent at all.
Charge it according to experience. You can actually learn a lesson from irrationality and you should never take it for granted. By having this emotion by your partner you will begin to know on what the things that will trigger that attitude are and what effective things that you do to actually pacify her down. You actually don’t need to show the same angriness that your partner is showing when being irrational because it just leads to nowhere and the best thing to do is to always learn from that every experience so that you’ll be prepared when it happens again.
Identify your partner’s support system. Determine whom the people your partner is going to when this situation arises because they may not be a good influence and will just actually make the situation worse. The support group’s duty is to define goals and to determine possible options on how to solve the problem and to not just give another injury to the problem. Remember that they are just there to give advices and to influence your partner to do something that he or she will be regretting in the future.
Never lose your sense of understanding. Sometimes, people get irrational because they want to seek attention from the person they love and it is just their defense mechanism in order for them to look not the underdog in the situation. Try to think back what actually did you do, maybe you did something bad that is why your partner reacted that way, maybe it is you and not your partner after all, right? Just remember that there is always a rainbow after the rain, and everything passes and there is always time wherein your partner gets enlightened and both of you will live a happy and blissful life together.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

How to Treat Negative Thoughts of Comparing to Past Relationships

Jealousy is very common especially when you are in a relationship; you tend to get jealous to just about anything with no valid reason at all. This actually happens when there is no assurance from the partner that everything’s going to be alright. When you love a person, jealousy is always present in the scene. But you can actually do something about it, if you just learn to accept that the past will always remain in the past and there’s no space for it in the future.
It is always the nature of anyone who is in the relationship to always think negatively especially when it is about the comparison between past relationships. Below are some of the ways on how you can manage to treat negative thoughts of comparing your past relationships, as highlighted in save my marriage e-course by Amy Waterman:
Be realistic. Don’t over imagine a thing that as if you are not the one whom you’re partner is with. Be confident about yourself that you are God’s gift and that is the reason why your partner chooses you among anyone else. Don’t let your insecurities eat you up alive because this will just do no good in your relationship.
Let the relationship grow naturally. Don’t think that something negative will happen in your relationship especially to the newly-wed couples out there that have fears that there partners might leave them all alone someday. Never force the relationship to be mature, look forward to the days ahead of you because in each day that passes by I’m sure there are a lot of moral lessons that you will be experiencing which will be really helpful in the relationship.
Never doubt. Trust is very important in a relationship. When you love a person, you should trust your partner with all your heart and don’t entertain anything that will make the relationship experience conflicts. Past relationships should not be given priority, if you can’t leave the past behind, then it is impossible for the relationship to be successful and to grow maturely. Frequents fights will be present, and no one would surely want that, right?
Get counseling. If you are being troubled by past relationships and you think that you are breaking apart because of this I guess it is time to contact a relationship counselor for you to be able to find out on how you can stop yourself from comparing yours to past relationships and start moving on. This should not be taken for granted because either make or break the relationship you have, if you can’t keep yourself from doing to this to your partner.
Make it an inspiration. Past relationships should be taken as your inspiration on how you will improve what you have, since your past relationships weren’t successful. If people will only realize that it is called past relationships because it didn’t work out, then there will be actually no problem about it. Talking about past relationships is actually not bad at all if you will only look at it at the positive aspect and not be negative about it.
Be kind to yourself. Surely, the ex may have something that you actually don’t, well this shouldn’t be a big problem at all because you won’t have a relationship with your partner right now, if it’s not you that your partner likes. Never underestimate yourself, and love yourself even more and your partner, of course.
 Negative thoughts about past relationships should not be taken seriously because it is not actually healthy to your relationship. Instead, make it just an ordinary thought and don’t give special intention about it. Be totally honest when discussing this to your partner so that this will not be brought up over and over again.





Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Best Ways to Respond to Criticism and Attacks from Your Partner - Save My Marriage Today Book

Arguments will never do well in a relationship; in fact it will be no good when it is happening most of the time like a habit that can’t be stopped. There are also times when you just can’t take the harsh words that your partner has caused you when you are in a middle of an argument, right? It’s as if you wanted to do the same but you are just afraid that it will let the argument go to its worst part, so what you will do is to just accept those hurtful words your partner is throwing at you without even trying to fight back a bit to hurt the ego as well.
If you are experiencing this too often, I guess it’s time for you not to be an underdog anymore and be able to voice out what you really feel about the situation. Here are some ways on how to handle criticism and attacks from your partner:
Understand. Before you respond to anything, see to it that you know what the reason behind the criticism is and know what the misunderstanding is all about so that you know the right words to use when it is your time to speak back to your partner.
Don’t act too defensive. Being defensive means that you are actually admitting the accusation of your partner to you and it’s like you have given him the permission to insult you even more. You can actually take this as an opportunity to turn the tables down and let your partner get the shock of a lifetime by answering him in a way that he least expected to happen. Since, your partner may be very furious, act the opposite way by responding in a very polite manner, and let him have to think about it instead of attacking you even more.
Curve your lips to a beautiful smile. A simple smile can actually brighten the mood to the person you have given that into. And it will also give him the idea that what he has said doesn’t affect you after all and you are confident with yourself that you are on the right side.
Do self-assessment. Take a time to ask yourself and ponder unto the things that you were criticized for. Maybe your partner only said it because of the reason, you may already changed your attitude and it is just the way of your partner to let know that he or she does not approve of it. Your partner doesn’t just know how to express it well.
Tell your friends and family members about the situation. It is only proper that you tell your family about or close friends so that you will be getting the right amount of support that you will be needing because at times like this, only the people close to your heart will actually be your strength  to be able to survive this kind of trial in a relationship.
 Read my review on save my marriage today

Thursday, November 17, 2011

How to Stop Negativity and Start Loving Your Partner Again

When your partner cheated on you or you have other issues in your relationship that still needs some fixing, trust is actually hard to rebuild in times like these, accept when you've gone through save my marriage review here. It’s as if you have that shadow that’s always following you because you can’t seem to move on with the situation for the fear of getting hurt all over again, for the fear that your partner might be doing the same mistake for the 2nd or to the 3rd time and so on.
But when you have accepted your partner again, all things are possible to happen and you’ll never know after reading this article you already love your partner even more and your back to the same old couple that you used to be.
Below are some tips on how to stop negativity and start loving your partner again:
Look for the positive qualities that your partner has that you fell in love with for the very first time. List it down to a paper and begin writing everything that you remembered. In this way, you will be like conducting a time travel period wherein you will remember your partner for the first that you fell madly in love with. Just remember all the positive and happy thoughts that you have shared. By doing this for a few days, all the negative thoughts that you have for your partner will slowly diminished, and will be replaced by the love you felt. In this way, it will improve your marriage and you’ll be able to start your married life again.
Have some quality time alone with your partner. The moment you have accepted your partner again, make sure that you will be spending quality time alone- without the presence of your children. Since you are in the stage of proving your worth to your partner, you have to make sure that you value your relationship and her as well so your partner can see that you really tried some effort to make the relationship work.
Refrain from using negative words. Anything that is negative is always wrong and hurtful to the person you are saying it to. Though you mean it or not, it will leave a mark in the person’s mind and will seem so hard to forget if that person values you a lot. So instead of using negative words, why not use words that will make your partner’s heart skip a beat, for a change.
Be romantic with each other. Nothing beats a flavorful romance mixed with surprises ahead of you. Plan candlelight dinners, or give each other sweet notes that express how you feel for each other and how are you going to spend every night of your lives together.
Share your deepest secrets with your partner. Couples tend to forget this kind of bonding moment wherein they get to share their deepest darkest secrets with their partners. This is actually a healthy idea of being able to get back the trust that was once lost in a relationship because of the fact that you are open to tell just about anything to your partner. In that way your partner may think and feel that you are the person worth having the second chance with because of that trait of yours.
Don’t be afraid to experiment. Plan on new things to do, once a week, or twice a month or just when you are able to do so, these new adventures that you will be facing not only bring spark to your relationship but also, gives you the time to know each other a(()gain.



Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Effective Strategies in Conflict Resolution

It is quite common for spouses to have a little conflict at times, especially in the decision-making process. It is actually the nature of man to argue, and we just can’t do anything about it but to argue too, right? What a life’s irony, really. But sometimes small arguments often lead to heated arguments then to a fight of a lifetime, wherein if not given proper attention to will lead to a not so good ending. And who would want that?
For you to be able to not reach the worst part of any arguments that you and your spouse will be encountering below are some strategies to be read on to:
·         Focus on the current issue. It is not healthy to open up about new other topics that you have been fighting that will only make the situation worse because all the more that you won’t be able to resolve the issue, when this happens.

·         Be on the same side. Do it in a way that both of you will be the ones responsible to solve the issue and not, by just “him alone, or, “her alone”. Work together as a couple, since the both of you are involved into this, so you really don’t have any choice about it.

·         Know the main issue. Small fights often grown into big ones when the root of the issue is not very well-explained to, thereby, as the argument arises the problem will only get bigger and bigger if this is not identified.

·         Be open with your thoughts. Don’t pretend as if you know how your spouse behaves, decides, and thinks. Directly ask questions that are bugging your mind, so you will get answers that will let you calm yourself down. Remember, that even though you are couples, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you know what’s going on in each other’s head at all times.

·         Be sure that you will settle your arguments before bedtime. Make sure that your arguments will be settled right before you sleep. Just act like two responsible adults, and never let your anger bring it down until morning, because this will be not be beneficial in your relationship. Just think of the happiness that you will get, when you wake up in the morning and the anger you had the other night is already replaced by love made in heaven.

·         Never attack your spouse below the belt. When arguments reaches to the point wherein you are not able to manage your anger anymore, never use words that would hurt your partner the most like attacking his personality because this is the common mistakes of people who are arguing and they really say hurtful words about the weak side of his partner which is not acceptable.

·         Never underestimate the power of love. On the record, love is the reason why both of you were united, right? So, make it a reminder to yourselves that you made vows on that very special day because of your deep love with each other and it will also be the same reason why you will forgive, forget, and admit your mistakes, and stay away to arguments.